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do you like to shop at wal mart?
After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men — he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women — she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Walmart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video survellance cameras.
1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 (lost child) in Housewares - get on it right away.”
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him, he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the cleark where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through it, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”
Regards,
When I’m forced to go to Walmart with my wife I usually spend my time either super gluing a few front wheels on shopping carts in a left turn position or maybe filing about an inch of rubber off one of the rear wheels on a few others. Nothing destructive, just something other shoppers might enjoy. Your list, though, has given me some new ideas.
Nancy M. Says: October 13th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Have heard the joke and it is still funny!
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Samsara Says: October 13th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
That was brilliant, very very funny, I just loved it
thanks for cheering me up.
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TomT Says: October 13th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
When I’m forced to go to Walmart with my wife I usually spend my time either super gluing a few front wheels on shopping carts in a left turn position or maybe filing about an inch of rubber off one of the rear wheels on a few others. Nothing destructive, just something other shoppers might enjoy. Your list, though, has given me some new ideas.
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Poppy Says: October 13th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I had to call hubby in here so I could read this to him. he went back to what he was doing laughing. Suzie used to do this and got blown away, so be careful. Thanks for the laugh! Poppy
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rhumba girl Says: October 13th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I think that guy goes to my WalMart!!
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the archer Says: October 13th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I have always thought that the best way to start the day is with a good laugh but you have convinced me that ending the day with a good laugh is also important.
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Maggie Says: October 13th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
yes, I shop at Wal-Mart - I'm frugal (AKA cheap)
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pee-wee Says: October 13th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Well - Well.
That question has got to be worth a double ‘Max’, 20 points perhaps.
It was hilarious, my wife has to see this.
My wife and I had a months vacation in Orlando,we went to Wal-mart in Orlando, and one just outside of town. Oh man!! they had everything you could want, being a man I hate shopping period. But I enjoyed both trips in these supermarkets.
On the reverse side of the pond, we have ‘Asda’,guess who owns it,
you got it!!. But Mr Wall - Mart, So because we shop a little for cheapness .( they blow their trumpet to excess )
From time to time Asda re-locate the goodies to different shelves as done in’ The States, it’s confusing and illegal, and puts time on ones shopping’
Of course this Asda’s way of helping you to find what you would have
missed in the first place. In turn I don’t like the feel of the place, cheap, plastic and sterile.
It must be said the staff are quite good at their jobs, And are helpful, In this area, they train their staff well.
Pee - Wee
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.ROXY.sheila from oz. Says: October 13th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
new one on me , LOVE it !!!! thanks for the laugh.
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my tickled funny bone.
DR W Says: October 13th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Even Sam Walton would roll on the floor in laughter reading this! Clean-up in aisle three!
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typical not me Says: October 13th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I hate Walmart but what else is there? Most everything is there in one store. Every time you find something you really like it disappears though.
I assume that your post is a joke. But if it isn’t it’s not true. I have heard from some good sources that Walmart does not pay people to ”man” all those cameras you think are turned on and watching our every move. They have them at the Check out lanes, at the Jewelry counter, and back in the are where they sell guns and ammo.
They are just not going to pay enough people enough money to sit there all day an look all over the store
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Windy Says: October 13th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
That’s a good one, Thanks! for the laugh.
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CJ Says: October 13th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Sid; this is hilarious - I have laughed so hard my sides hurt. Thanks I really needed a big belly laugh today. Have a really BIG Star!
CJ
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MR. KNOW-IT-ALL Says: October 14th, 2008 at 11:19 am
WELL…. LETS SEE NOW….
I occasionally shop at the local Wal-mart with my latest
girlfriend. I sure want to say THANX for all the GREAT
IDEAS…. I’LL TRY ALL OF THEM REAL SOON !!!!
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The ReDesign Diva Says: October 15th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
No. I don’t like to shop at Wal-Mart. But now, I think I’m gonna like it alot
Thanks for the lovely ideas…
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♥ Mishka ♥ Says: October 15th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
OMG that is so funny..Sounds like a really fun guy. That sounds like something that I would do..Fun times..Thank you for sharing that and making me laugh.. =)
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gimp3836@sbcglobal.net Says: October 15th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
You may have created a monster.
I am recording all those tips and will try them out at my first opportunity. I bet my wife will leave me at home in the future.
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Donya Says: October 16th, 2008 at 9:43 am
This is the first time I heard this and it is a regular riot. I can’t remember the last time I copied a joke for my husband but I don’t want to give him any ideas as he always tells me how much he dislikes Walmart.
Thanks fish, it’s been a while!
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Moe Says: October 16th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Funny Fisherman,
No I am not that fond of Wal Mart, I find that they have a few specials to draw you in. Not really that much of a diverse selection as some other grocery stores And I find their clothes may tend to be cheaper (in some cases), but they are also of poorer quality. I find that if I am in the area I might stop in, but do not necessarily make it a point to shop there.
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